Signing my married name for the first time…hmm…

Out with the old, in with the new...

Out with the old, in with the new…

Not sure how I am supposed to feel right now. My husband and I (still getting used to saying husband!) just got back from the bank. I had to sign a form with my new signature with my new last name. I hadn’t even practised it so that was my first time writing it. It was strange. I thought I would feel excited, but I feel kind of disappointed. Like a little piece of me is lost…

With our wedding gifts, we had received 2 cheques written out with my married name. First of all, I never announced to any family members that I was going to change my name at all, or hyphen or anything so I felt a little taken back that they would just assume I would take my husbands name. Not a huge deal though, we were very thankful for the gifts. I don’t want anyone to think I am ungrateful for the gifts, I am very, very thankful and feel very blessed. It’s just the name part. I don’t like anyone telling me what to do and I guess it just felt like that a little bit. Felt a little backed into a corner. The counter to that though, is that I am planning the change my name. I had decided a long time ago that I would change my name. I have been referring to my husband and I as “The P’s” for a long time. I even hung a giant letter “P” over our dining table before we were even engaged. I really liked having a family identity growing up. We were “The H’s”. I liked being “The” somebodys. When my husband and I have children, I want them to have the same sense of a family unit by us calling ourselves “The P’s”.

So why do I feel sad about changing my name?? Logically I know I shouldn’t. But I have been identifying myself my whole life as one name and now all the sudden, that name is supposed to cease to exist. It almost makes me feel rebellious. Like I am being forced to do something. Which is so weird to me because I want to change my name for the reasons above! It’s an internal conflict that I have to work through. I talked to my Mom about how she felt when she changed her name. She is an outspoken personality like me. She described having the same thoughts and feelings about changing her name. She said it does go away with time and it is completely normal to feel a little adverse or even feel you need to moarn the loss of your maiden name.

~ with love, Chelsey P

What about you?

Any newlyweds feel the same?

Did you decide to change, not change or hyphenate and why?

 

About Chelsey Pear

Chelsey Pear Charm Jewelry Co. Founder & Designer www.ChelseyPear.com
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7 Responses to Signing my married name for the first time…hmm…

  1. Jen says:

    Didn’t change my last name when I got married. I didn’t see a point to it. My husband doesn’t care. I’ve asked him if he wanted to have my name changed and he didn’t. We are not planning on having kids (ever) so I don’t think its a big deal/

    • chelseyp says:

      Hey Jen,
      Thank you for your input! I think especially if someone has built a name for themselves in their career, it would make more sense to keep your name. I am curious with couples that each have a different last name, what do you feel is the most acceptable way to address both people as a couple? Do you mind being referred to as The name-name’s or do you think each person should be addressed individually?

      • Jen says:

        Usually I get addressed with my Husbands last name. It doesn’t bother me. Its “socially acceptable” to take your husband’s last name and fairly new to NOT take his last name. I assume most people think it is odd and I wonder if people think I’m still engaged or something. lol.

  2. Claire says:

    I just changed my name this morning at the SS office. It’s been about 55 minutes with the new name. I feel really sad, but like you, I WANT to change my name. I know that this is what I want, but I’m so confused as to why I feel like crying.

    • Laura S. says:

      Claire, I am applying to change my name right now and freaking out because I can’t figure out if I am supposed to sign the application for a name change with my maiden name or my married name. Help! I feel like I don’t know who I am

      • chelseyp says:

        I have changed my name on half of my things and half I haven’t gotten around to it. I feel like that too – who the heck am I??

        When you are asked your name, what do you tell them?

  3. chelseyp says:

    Oh no! It will be OK! 🙂 Just think, its just a piece of paper, it doesn’t change who YOU are. Let it sit for a bit,and keep in mind you can always go back if you really want to. But over time I think it wil feel more like a family name, rather than your husband’s name. 🙂

    ChelseyP

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