Not sure how I am supposed to feel right now. My husband and I (still getting used to saying husband!) just got back from the bank. I had to sign a form with my new signature with my new last name. I hadn’t even practised it so that was my first time writing it. It was strange. I thought I would feel excited, but I feel kind of disappointed. Like a little piece of me is lost…
With our wedding gifts, we had received 2 cheques written out with my married name. First of all, I never announced to any family members that I was going to change my name at all, or hyphen or anything so I felt a little taken back that they would just assume I would take my husbands name. Not a huge deal though, we were very thankful for the gifts. I don’t want anyone to think I am ungrateful for the gifts, I am very, very thankful and feel very blessed. It’s just the name part. I don’t like anyone telling me what to do and I guess it just felt like that a little bit. Felt a little backed into a corner. The counter to that though, is that I am planning the change my name. I had decided a long time ago that I would change my name. I have been referring to my husband and I as “The P’s” for a long time. I even hung a giant letter “P” over our dining table before we were even engaged. I really liked having a family identity growing up. We were “The H’s”. I liked being “The” somebodys. When my husband and I have children, I want them to have the same sense of a family unit by us calling ourselves “The P’s”.
So why do I feel sad about changing my name?? Logically I know I shouldn’t. But I have been identifying myself my whole life as one name and now all the sudden, that name is supposed to cease to exist. It almost makes me feel rebellious. Like I am being forced to do something. Which is so weird to me because I want to change my name for the reasons above! It’s an internal conflict that I have to work through. I talked to my Mom about how she felt when she changed her name. She is an outspoken personality like me. She described having the same thoughts and feelings about changing her name. She said it does go away with time and it is completely normal to feel a little adverse or even feel you need to moarn the loss of your maiden name.
~ with love, Chelsey P
What about you?
Any newlyweds feel the same?
Did you decide to change, not change or hyphenate and why?